HOSTAL HOSTEL MALENA

Malena now has a Hostel! $8 a night, and hot water!!!!

March 12 Got my chickens back from Rosi, they are back to their routine, sleeping on the floor under the counter in the kitchen. I wanted to make them a cage to sleep in at night, but I was just so dam busy today. What I did today: *Went to the beach tonight with Juan to look for more turtle eggs, didnt find any. *Repaired my garden net, and as long as the cows stay out of my yard, it should be OK, against the chickens. Thanks to all mentioned, I have only one tomatoe plant and a watermellon / cucumber plant. Thanks, guys. (so far, 2 things come to mind of what i did today, will more appear??) It occurred to me that Juan, of the Tienda, lived here all his life. So I asked, and I was right. I can't imagine. But he did mention that he left once for 25 days to go work picking beans in the jungle. 25 days, and he left once to pick up his son from the Mothers house via the bus. Me, the World Traveller / Flight Attendant, and this guy has never went more than 10 hours from his house. That includes actually waiting for the buses, too. He said he has no plans to ever leave, either. That's good, b/c neither do I. To be continued.... Apparently, I wrote to the blog lastnight, but I dont recall what I wrote.

Wednesday 8th? March (Okay, I looked, it's the 11th) Thinking about how utilitarian things are, here. Beds being comfotable are not important. You sleep, because everyone else is sleeping. Eating - the kitchens are not fancy, if you actually have one. Since you eat rice +1 for all meals, you really only need 2 pans and some fire. If you have a stove, good for you. But a few people just have cement blocks and firewood intertwined and ashes blowing all over the place on a windy day like today. I guess this way, they never have to empty it, like a traditonal fireplace. I am going to add to this list, My house. I sleep there and keep my stuff there. I really like it, made it myself. Surrounded by trees - Palm, mango, orange, etc. I think the mangos will be ready in a month. It's weird here how people just switch houses, when company comes. And the bathroom... as long as your shit goes away from your body and you can no longer see it... that is the goal. A hole, "over there," a flushing toilet, outhouse with a seat, outhouse without a seat.... Outhouse with a hole... It's just not important to have 2 sinks, a 36" double mirror vanity, and 6 freakin' lightbulbs. Do you know that people in the USA have more lightbulbs in the bathroom mirror alone, than the people have in their entire house here? Why do americans need a light in the bathroom with 6 bulbs? What is it that I was looking at? If i was renting a place, I turned all but one off. Think about it - You already know where your face, teeth, eyes, and ears are. Do you actually need a mirror? I didnt have one here for the first 6 months, and i didnt die. Seriously, i'm still alive and well. More than well. Today was the first day I made "Word of the Day" cards, which I put up at the Tienda. I was going to just make one word, but ended up with 5 cards. 2 colors, (red and blue), day of the week, a number (10), and the word "She." Can I use than in a sentence? Yes - "She is beautiful." I have 2.5 months until i have to go back to work. I am not looking forward to it. I really like my job, but I like it here , more. So much more. Although I dont work here, i am busy. Just screwing around, but it's great. While i was in the USA, Rosi watched my chickens at her house. That was nice. She told me she was going to train them to sleep in a tree like real chickens, but it did not happen. They are ground chickens, they have decided. It's just dangerous, there are opposums here. And according to Ting, opposums like to eat chickens in the middle of the night. But, also according to Ting, they eat his yucca, sugar cane, pinapples ( its really the rogue cows) and everything else he can't manage to grow. That was mean. But I ask him all the time "Where are you going?" and he says " To dig up the yucca before the 'Gato de blah blah blah' eats it." Can't Blame a Guy for Tryin'

March 7 - At The Airport

So, I get Jo's car into the Employee parking lot, onto the Employee Shuttle with help from a nice guy (I've got 6 items). On my way to Houston --> Panama. The line in the airport was SO long. Being a flight attendant, we get to skip all that and go to the head of the line. I think I will be missing that. Also, I am allowed to "check" 2 bags. So I checked 2 there, and 2 when I got on the plane. That is 4. Some people dont carry anything, so I dont want to hear it. The price of gas went back down, so I still dont want to hear it. I was all set in Houston, had a seat in First Class, and it came time to re-check the Passport. Apparently, this guy has super-eyes. He says I can't go. I guess he thought it wasnt a good idea to wash it with my clothes. He kept trying to scan it, but it hasnt been able to scan in like 4 years. Just push the little digits in, and my beautiful face will pop up. Guess he was not ready to think outside the box. They told me I can go ask a Supervisor. But by time I got to do this, that particular flight left. The one with my First Class seat wide open. So now I am on a later flight, one that happens to be oversold! I have been let on a flight that said it was over by 13. So, I will wait. Like I have a choice, right? I spent the entire month of November in the Houston Airport, so one day is nothing. I have a membership to the Presidents Club which provides free internet, free drinks, and snacks.And hot showers. I have a hot shower in my Tree House! I can't wait to get back to my Hammock. It is so noisy here, the kids cry all the time. I swear, the kids dont cry where i live. Even the babies. I think kids cry for attention, but where I live, they have their mothers' full attention all the time, if not their fathers', too. USA kids are brats. Smack em' Beat em' or Give them a Time Out. They are still brats. Lots of people here, nobody says HI when they pass you. Nobody helps you. This stupid lady saw me drop a boxed tent off the back of my suitcase, and she just stands there, making this stupid hissing noise. Like "Oopssssssssssssss." I said "Thanks for the help." I don't know why people are more stingy or rude here. I guess as a culture, we arent very nice. I'm nice. What do you need? Played the Lottery for Jo, hopefully she will win. That would be awesome. I played also. Another good thing of being back in my hammock is the Food. I have been eating complete shit since I was in the states. Long John Silvers, Burger King (I got that b/c I was falling asleep), chips, beer, wine, pasta with alfraedo sauce.... But lastnight I made some kickass vegetable soup, it was SO good.

Gonna go see about my flight.... Okay so there were no seats on the flight. I will spend the night in the airport. First a few drinks at the Presidents Club!

March 6 - in Florida

march 1 - COIBA REPORT

Coiba was awesome. The snorkeling was great.

Accomodations are $20 per night in a cabin, reservations are apparently optional since The Peace Corp Girl made them, but were not found.

I was going to sleep on the beach in my hammock, but the workers of the incoming boats get to sleep in the employee quarters, so Miguel hooked me up. And he told the people i was his wife, so i did not have to pay the $20 entrance fee, also. I love this place and the people.

I have made my trip to the USA and am not liking it. Its cool to be able to call people and talk for a long time, without worrying about calling cards. Tomorrow I am looking forward to watching Golden Girls. I love that show. And Walmart. A Walmart in Flroida..... its the best.

You get a mix of white trash, black trash, hopeful Latinos and old people wearing track suits. In a Florida Walmart, you will see the most spandex ever in your life, all in one place.

It was recently my birthday, and i like to go to the beach on my birthday. Juan from the Tienda said we can go look for turtle eggs! We found 97. Didnt have anything to put them in, so we looked for some garbage and as you can see, found an old soccer ball and half a bleach bottle.

It was a good night.

The house is coming along OK. I am not very concerned about people stealing my stuff. Hey - if they want my beans - good for them.

Feb 24

FEB 24 ( I knew the date this time) Tomorrow I am going to an island, and it usually costs $200 per person. I guess I have acclamated myself well enough into my community - I get to go for free. But I bought food for the boat owner and his helper. The island is currently a prison, but also a National Park. I am most looking forward to snorkeling, which is apparently a big hit there. Jodianna The Peace Corp Girl, her Mom, friend and another PC girl are going. Miguel asked if I would go, but not sure why. Jodianna speaks better spanish than I. Maybe he just asked IF i wanted to go. I am ready- this is the first thing I have had to "plan" in like 3 months. More the most part, i just screw around all day, helping the neighbors, or sitting on front porches. Believe it or not, I am amazed how fast sunset comes. 12 hours of visiting. But it always ends up being more interesting than that - no matter what I plan to do once I leave my house, it never actually happens that way. So I always - no matter what, bring my backpack with: Water, book, sunscreen, money, and a plastic bag. The bag is for when I end up walking down the road and pick up recyclables. I also have to go back to the USA at the end of the month. I DO NOT want to go. For one, its very cold right now in PA. Florida will not be a problem, though. I might drive my truck to PA, and see if my dad can sell it. Its' just knowing that I have to leave, is really irritating me. My cat is making sexy noises at the man cat outside. Hooker. Quite windy tonight, I hope it doesnt mess up the clarity of the agua. This National Park has nothing, so you have to bring it all yourself. The Lonely Planet Guide book does not tell you that you need to bring your own tank of gas for cooking. I am taking sheets, b.c I dont know what the heck is the plan. Jodianna reserved 5 beds, but i think it would be more fun to camp. We will see. Miguel is sleeping on his boat, to make sure ..... of what I dont know. Coco, his helper - I am not sure. I think he is secretly dating a girl here, both claim NO. But if he is indeed dating her, i dont think she wants him camping with me. You all know how I am when I get too much bug spray in my system! Speaking of bug spray - I now know why i stink like ass. It is the Bug Spray. I sweat it out, and i think like ass in my arm pits. HORRIBLE! At least now I know, though. Im talking like Onion Perfume. I want to write a book, but more like essays of my blog from Panama. Everyone says they are funny. Cant hurt to send it to someone. Carnaval happened this weekend and ended officially today. I did not go, which I am glad I did not. I hear it is like MArdi Gras, people spray you with water, and lots of drunk people. I have become accustomed to no noise at all. Man, I NOT looking forward to the trip to the USA. My friend Carrie is trying to visit me, but her stubborn, bull-headed husband tells her NO. I cant comprehend someone telling me NO. Ha! So then he told her that if she signed a contract the he did not have to come to Panama and rescue her silly ass, she "can" go. But...apparaently he was joking b/c today when she told him the dates we discussed, he flipped out, not believing that she thought he was serious. They are having a talk tonight she says. After she returns to the States after being here, she will laugh about how dangerous she thought it might be. Shit, I cant' find danger if i tried. (which im not). It would be like trying to find a blue-eyed man at an Albino Convention. hahah i dont know where that came from. I feel safer here than in the states. If I was getting mugged here, people would not let that happen. Everyone here looks out for each other, even strangers. You are expected to put other peoples kids on your lap on the bus to save space. As long as they dont make noise, I am OK with this arrangement. This is the first trip i have taken in a while, i am all worked up about packing. Me, the Flight Attendant worried about packing! Ha! Most of us are worried about enough ice to keep the beer cold. The Ice Man did not bring ice for the fishermen today, so nobody went. Maybe I will buy an ice machine and make that my business. Hmmm. I dont want to go back to work, or theUS.

feb 13 - WATER WORKS

WATER WORKS - Pay $75 The other day we (The Village) had a meeting about the Water. I assumed it would be announced that "Serena is taking too long a shower." **Anybody who knows me, knows that i simply cannot take a shower in under 30 minutes, unless it is only cold water. Then I am out in less than 30 seconds. But the meeting was to talk about past dues owed, and the lack of water flowing into a huge(not) water reservoir. It was decided that today we would all meet at 7:30 or 8 am, "in the street." The village is 5 houses long, so this in not really a problem. The girl from www.couchsurfing.com and I sit on the street at 8. Three people are there. Maybe the plan was to leave your house at 8....? Welcome to Panama. Anyway, eventually all the Men show up with shovels and picks. I have previously designated myself to carry 2 gallons of water in my backpack for the workers. Then, Bebo was showing off to Nor- so i "let" him carry my backpack. After he felt the weight, he could not possibly say No, he would have looked wimpy. So, we are all walking up the street and the mountain. Barn boots, halter tops, shovels and tubes. None of the Wives came - they sent the husbands. One guy was leaving, so he sent a daughter. When I was a kid...Brad, Charlene and I would find a creek and clean the leaves out of it, to make the water flow nice. We did this today, not sure why. Something about cleaning out an old water supply, just in case we need it. And since we carried like 25 PVC tubes into the middle of freakin' nowhere (oh my God) I assume this is serious. So, I am digging dead leaves out of a creek in Panama ( I did not get bit by anything) and then people walk by and the leaves drop back into the space I just cleaned. Not to mention that the wind willdo the same in about 30 minutes. But whatever, I'm in the shade. Once that is done, it is decided we need more PVC tubes - 16. They send The Girls, and I also take this opportunity to get 3 more gallons of water. Sidenote- as i go to my house, i notice White Cow is in the yard. I try to chase it out, and it goes in the kitchen, etc. I dont think it knew I had opened the gate. She stomped my only suriving plant in my desert garden. Shit. We carry the tubes back into the middle of nowhere ( You can google it) and I am in Awe. These men of the village are on the side of a mountain, digging a ditch in full sun. I guess that if everyone helps, it is not so bad. Delivered water, etc. Peeping Tom did not get water. I passed his silly ass up. I feel bad in a way - he is a "nice" person. But he peeped and is now out of the Cool Club. End of Story. As I passed him with the water jug, everyone was yelling about the Tape Measure, and which of us had it. He is not allowed within 500 feet of my house or Oli's. Fortunately for him, we were not near my house. I was like 1 foot from him, I had to tromp past his ass in my barn boots to the other workers who wanted water. Eventually, most of the guys were doing more talking of gossip than work, so I took this oppotunity to leave with www.Couchsurfing.com Girl. We had a beer, and took naps on the hammock until it was time for volleyball. I sucked ass today. VERY VERY TIRED. Lots of walking, uphill. Then.... Somone noticed that Tano's boat is sinking, and only the roof is showing. Neno left in the truck to Get Guys. It ended up sinking, motor and all. This was about a $5,000 rig, that is gonna hurt. They looked for it tonight, and will tomorrow. The water is deep here. I will tell Gringo John, maybe he can help. Came back, made Soup Surprise and watched a movie with The Girl and Oli. A movie about being in Jail. She does not like violence, but didnt say anything. I wish she would have. We just have these weird random movies, and you never know what is going to be on the unmarked CD. I made a liter of fresh squeezed OJ for breakfast and now i am going to sleep!

FEB 17

Feb 17 In a bit of a pissy mood today. Since my house has no walls yet - this leaves me with NO privacy. Even in the bathroom, since the heavy wind keeps blowing down my curtain rod. My back REALLY hurts this week. Not sure why, but it does. So I like to sit in my hammock and read. But, inevitably - somebody shows up. Just to chat. I can't even pretend that i am not home by closing the front door and not answering it if i choose not to. I have no front door. And often, i get back from somewhere, and Oli is waiting for me in a porch chair. He is the main violater of my private time. It's not like I need to do anything personal, but jesus - dont you have a home? If so, please go to it. It's not only him, and I tried to explain that, but my espanol does not allow for lots of words. So of course he is mad, b/c i asked him to please go home. How do you say this in a nice way? You can't. He built me a new door for my gate ( i told him not to) and as he left, he whipped it into the creek. He did that with the last one he built but did not attach, either. And since I am psychic, i know he will ride on the Main Drag of Malena on the borrowed motorcycle of Marvin and go faaaasssst! (yes, i was right) Being cool, he was. So, i picked some oranges from Goyo and then Coco made a move on me. Hmmm. I swear, this place is too small for a girl like me. So i decided to watch a movie tonight. They are borrowed from the neighbor, and never, ever run all the way to the end. Irritating, but i guess it is better than doing nothing. Maybe not. Tonight, i watched almost all of Transformers, Indiana Jones and something else with action figures. Since they are burned and in spanish, I never know what it is until it is too late. I wish I had a TV, b/c i miss Law and Order and Golden Girls. Then, I think about all the time I wasted watching TV. As if that I didnt watch the last and final episode of America's Top Model, I would actually be affected. ( I never watched that show - just an example) I have not had TV in 3 months. A recent Couch surfer said she did not have one for 5 years I think. So instead she probably reads, in fact I know she does. I guess it is just another form of entertainment. A National Geographic show can be just as good as a non-fiction book. I guess we all waste our time in our own special way, huh? I prefer to read non-fiction, then I am actually learning something. My friend Loes has lots of books, but most are in Dutch. I will read all of her English books and then move on to another gringo who has books. It's wierd - that people move here and bring books that they have already read. It's like bringing dirty laundry that you have no intention of washing. There are people who will go with you - There are people who will wait for you to come back- and Then there are people who wont even care that you left. I made that myself. Nora was leaving today on the path, and I guess with all the wind, a snake fell out of a tree and wiggles past her. She appeared to be quite shooken up, but there was not much I could do - it was gone and away. Se Fue! I am painting the walls and wood of my house today and tomorrow. The first floor will be a nice green, to match the trees, and the second will be a nice blue to match the sky. I might even get crafty and put a strip of brown on the bottom to match the mud that will splash during rainy season. I really want my Dad to come down here. He is resisting and it is pissing me off. I dont think that 10 days out of his life is really going to .... what.... is the word???? He needs to get out of his box. And it is just my luck that he is just going to be finishing up a trip to Florida, so then he will be all flustered and weird. I want him to come here, so he knows what the hell I am talking about when we tallk on the phone. He think it is funny when i say "The" Phone booth. Who in the US still uses a phone booth??!? I havent used one in like 10 years. Only when I am here. I have no intention of buying a cell here, since there is no service in this village. They dont have Unlimited Plans, you just buy minutes. Well, if i am going to buy minutes, I can save myself money and just buy a phone card. And for anyone who cares... I tried again to get the chickens to sleep outside. They are having none of that business. Trees! ha! I keep planning to make then a little house and lock them in it, and then when they are used to it, i will keep it unlocked. But I havent gotten that far yet. I get side tracked so easy here. It's weird. They lay of the land does not help, either. Since it is west coast, beach, mountain and then my house, i get 30 minutes less sunlight than everyone else here. But I also get to wake up earlier. Either by chickens or the sun bleaching my eyes open. Since I am missing a wall upstairs, i can watch watch Juansito and his dad herd the cows around in the next pasture. There are plantain trees in the way, but it entertains me and then i get up. Nearly missing the cat whose ass leaks green crap, and then once the chickens realize I am awake, they rush to see who is first to be under my flipflop. You would think they would learn from Blue, what happens when you race to be under my flipflop without me knowing it. They are sleeping under my countertop, heads stretched out all over, I dont think it is normal. It looks like they have broken necks. When they take naps, they dont do that.

January 28th

Jan 28 or so "the Girls" showed up at my house, and I had planned for them to be there about 10 hours later than this. I had just arrived myself, off of a boat trip from hell. (Logistically speaking - the beaches were great) So, here i am, debriefing myself and here come these 3 with their backpacks and dirty bodies. Personally, the first thing I want to dow hen I arrive somewhere is take a shower. So did they. But The Men were cleaning the water tank on top of the hill, so this was not possible. We sat around for a while and yeah.... sat around some more that night. Maybe they went to eat at Peeping Toms Rest. My village only has one Rest., and it is unfortunate that it belongs to the guy who i have a restraining order on for Peeping in my windows. We went to the waterfall with Dionel and that was nice. Went out on the boat that is broke down, but still provides shelter. The Girls had the plan that we are going to stay the night. Well, the owner of the boat we took out there had no idea of this, and wanted his boat returned that night so he can go fishing. So..... there went our ride, didnt even pretend to say they are coming back at any certain time. Or day.... So, we drank a little and ate some more....went to the beaches and snorkeled. It wasnt that we were running out of food or rum or ice... but we might have and this seemed to linger in the air, but nobody made any serious comments about it. The girl who packed the cooler and one bottle of rum did a good job. I think she even asked if she should put the other bottle in. Someone said no. I wish she would have. Then again, i could have just done it myself. Oh- but before this boat trip we decided to go on a sight seeing tour. The local fisherman was going that way in a truck so we hopped on. He was supposed to go there and back. We left The Village at like 8 am, and did not return until 11pm. Beer for breakfast should have been the first sign that this was going to be a strange day. We were even supposed to be in the truck in the first place. We were waiting for the Church Flea Market to start and we could see that it was going to be like 3 more hours. We thought we would be back before then. We ended up at the end of the road at a Cantina and crashing a Senior Citizens Olympics Picnic. Someone started dancing....here it is like 11 am. Next bar or beach or whatever. Found a REALLY great beach with a cool rock tunnel thing. Sat there for a while until the tide kicked us out. I wish I had pics of a certain someone flailing around on the beach in her see-through underware trying to stand up. Or was she just trying to flash us? It's hard to tell with her. Took a few pics and then on to the next Cantina! More dancing! For those of you who actually know me, i have no rythym. I am ok with an instrument, but not so good with aerobics or dancing. I am getting flashbacks as I write this. 4 hours later...we are ready to leave and i am hopping into the back of the truck (which was not moving at the time) and then i guess someone lasooed me out, b/c next thing I knew I crack my head on the gravel. This was 4 days ago, and when i put my head on a soft pillow it feels like a rock pillow. My elbow hurts with a nice bruise and scrapes. We get back to my very religious village and Oli is waiting for us, or appeared quickly. Not sure. One of us fell down, (not me) and of course when you are drunk you think you are being quiet but you are definately not. We had bunkbeds, and i dont know how she got up there. Next day we all felt like shit, although one said she did not. I dont believe her! The girls left at 4 today to head back to Panama City and catch the flight to civilization. I suppose this is good, since the electric has been out for 5 hours now, and they keep opening the fridge as if something new will appear.